And the mother if the year award goes to

[KMac]

So…

I came from a solid home, was raised with the church… I was a dumpster fire. I was controlled and rebelled hard, really hard.

My kids come from a solid home, not raised with the church.

Both of my girls were put on birth control early and have lax rules. They are free to have open conversations with us about everything.

No dumpster fires. One a 4.0 in college, second one applying to Ivy League schools this fall. My son is just fine so far…

And the best part - no unexpected grand babies.


I have friends from crap families that came out just fine, and friends from great families that are dumpster fires.

I have the same with 2 of my 4. And we did raise them in church. But more importantly, we raised them to have self control.

My other two, well, my ex let them run the house. No rules. And they paid the price.

Again, I think parenting, along with life lessons, etc. Are key.

I was "parented" by my dad. Maybe you would have called it controlled, I don't know. But I didn't rebel. I respected his role as my dad. I never would have wanted to embarrass my family.

I've never been into drugs or alcohol, really. I did drink a little, but never did drugs. Of any kind.

Cant make general statements about anything when raising kids.

I didn't.

[Smitty45]

How so? By teaching or promoting abstinence an control over your own body? By teaching you that sex is a very intimate act that should be shared between people who are married? Or that it is a very serious thing that should not be ventured into due to the possible consequences? Social stigma? Nah.. What has done more harm is the attitude that sex doesn't mean anything. That we are not in control of our own bodies and desires. That we are no better than an animal in heat.

It is my opinion that this subject/topic is just like most things when it comes to being accountable. People just don't like the idea that life isn't about "you". That, one day, we will all be held accountable for our choices. Whether it's leading a life of immorality, dishonesty, etc.. We will all stand before our creator. And our choices will, and do, have consequences. And, I believe that is what bothers people, or the thought of that does.

If there was a God and if you do stand before him , he is going to ask you about your actions , not somebody else's .
You don't like that everybody doesn't adhere to your beliefs and standards , you try to project your beliefs into every topic on here it seems .
Religion is like a Penis , it's ok to have one , and it's ok to be proud of it , just don't take it out in public and wave it around .

[Jughed]

How so? By teaching or promoting abstinence an control over your own body? By teaching you that sex is a very intimate act that should be shared between people who are married? Or that it is a very serious thing that should not be ventured into due to the possible consequences? Social stigma? Nah.. What has done more harm is the attitude that sex doesn't mean anything. That we are not in control of our own bodies and desires. That we are no better than an animal in heat.

It is my opinion that this subject/topic is just like most things when it comes to being accountable. People just don't like the idea that life isn't about "you". That, one day, we will all be held accountable for our choices. Whether it's leading a life of immorality, dishonesty, etc.. We will all stand before our creator. And our choices will, and do, have consequences. And, I believe that is what bothers people, or the thought of that does.

My opinion.

The more this is pushed on kids, the more they do it.

I’ve said this before here or the other place - we called the local Catholic girls high school St Puberty’s. Catholic schools/religion back then was all about abstinence and guilt - heavy guilt. It didn’t work.

Those girls were like caged animals. We had a term for them - go-ers. Because they were ready to go.

Our bodies and natural instincts are not based on current social rules and church teachings. When you are sexually mature - your body and mind push hard to procreate. It’s 100% natural drive built into every human. Put rules and restrictions on that natural drive - many people drive harder.

Answering to a higher power? Few, very few - and I mean very very very few people actually live a life that meets those standards. Not many people, in fact not one person that I’ve actually met - lives to those standards. They typically pick which standards they think are important…

[KMac]

If there was a God and if you do stand before him , he is going to ask you about your actions , not somebody else's .
You don't like that everybody doesn't adhere to your beliefs and standards , you try to project your beliefs into every topic on here it seems .
Religion is like a Penis , it's ok to have one , and it's ok to be proud of it , just don't take it out in public and wave it around .

What in the world?? Lol. And, You're right, He will ask about my actions and inactions. You brought up church, I simply responded. I don't push or project anything on anyone. I shared my opinion, just as you shared yours.

I didn't get bent out of shape about it. Seems like I struck a nerve. It's okay for me to be a Christian, as long as I keep it to myself, right? But it's okay for you to share your opinion, and that's okay?

Got it. Have a good day. Lol

[KMac]

My opinion.

The more this is pushed on kids, the more they do it.

I’ve said this before here or the other place - we called the local Catholic girls high school St Puberty’s. Catholic schools/religion back then was all about abstinence and guilt - heavy guilt. It didn’t work.

Those girls were like caged animals. We had a term for them - go-ers. Because they were ready to go.

Our bodies and natural instincts are not based on current social rules and church teachings. When you are sexually mature - your body and mind push hard to procreate. It’s 100% natural drive built into every human. Put rules and restrictions on that natural drive - many people drive harder.

Answering to a higher power? Few, very few - and I mean very very very few people actually live a life that meets those standards. Not many people, in fact not one person that I’ve actually met - lives to those standards. They typically pick which standards they think are important…

Maybe so, but I've tried to keep them my whole life. And in the end, those girls in the Catholic schools just made their choices. It wasn't important to them, well, important enough.

I guess I've always seen it like this: if you can cheapen the most intimate things two people can share into "urges" we can't control, what's the whole point of it all? A free for all?

It may not matter to some, but it did to me. I know a lot of guys that chased women. They would sleep with anyone. "8 to 80, blind, crippled or crazy". Lol. But, I don't know any of them that chose the neighborhood bike (riden by everyone) for their wife. Not a single one.

[Smitty45]

So…

I came from a solid home, was raised with the church… I was a dumpster fire. I was controlled and rebelled hard, really hard.

My kids come from a solid home, not raised with the church.

Both of my girls were put on birth control early and have lax rules. They are free to have open conversations with us about everything.

No dumpster fires. One a 4.0 in college, second one applying to Ivy League schools this fall. My son is just fine so far…

And the best part - no unexpected grand babies.


I have friends from crap families that came out just fine, and friends from great families that are dumpster fires.


Cant make general statements about anything when raising kids.

This is so true ! Kids are unique and what works in one kids life won't work in another . I too was raised in a churchy environment and my parents didn't spare the rod by a long shot .
My first kiss was after a church revival behind the church , my friend's dad was a traveling minister and had an act with a trick pulpit , it would wobble and seem ready to fall down , until he turned the board inside of it (on the sly)and it would be solid as a rock . He would then say the power of Jesus would make him stand on it and do a flip off of it . He used to practice it in the back yard , it was funny as hell when he fell . But those shows and Bible schools and camp was just sex central , mostly innocent stuff , kissing and hugging , but the older kids were getting it on for sure .

Kyle's rush to condemn his ex over how she raised the kid is more a statement on his opinion of his ex than a true assessment of parenting .

I had friends whose mom would smoke pot with us , both her kids turned out great , took over the family business and became quite wealthy .
All the experts on raising kids are just quacks . I never hit my kid , she wasn't raised in a church , I told her she could trust me to never make anything any worse than it already was so she would come to me with her troubles .
She did and still does , she is a great person , raising a great little boy .

[erie skipper]

You all can say what you will but this old man is still of the belief that there should not be young teen unmarried mothers in this world. Not old enough or mature enough to raise a child and no 12-14 year old boy--let alone an 18 year old- is old enough or mature enough to take care of a child. But sex is thrown at our young people from the time they start watching tv and I believe that is what has created much of the unrest smongst our youth. The filthy language, the innuendo, the flaunting of the human body is all accepted today as just another fact of life and it has been tolerated for far too long in my humble opinion. Old fashioned? You betcha!

[Smitty45]

What in the world?? Lol. And, You're right, He will ask about my actions and inactions. You brought up church, I simply responded. I don't push or project anything on anyone. I shared my opinion, just as you shared yours.

I didn't get bent out of shape about it. Seems like I struck a nerve. It's okay for me to be a Christian, as long as I keep it to myself, right? But it's okay for you to share your opinion, and that's okay?

Got it. Have a good day. Lol

You don't understand , but there is no creator and I will never stand before him . My life IS about me , me and me alone , and how I treat those around me is solely dictated by my conscience and the laws of man . But the church has influenced the laws of man to the point they are just crazy . Two 15 year olds kids can have sex and it's not a crime , but the day one turns 16 it's crime and that kid is labeled a sex offender for life ? Why is that ok ?
I brought up the church merely to make the point that religion has turned something as innocent as sex into a crime and a sin . Then you jump in with your beliefs saying everyone will stand before your God and be judged , and get offended when I disagree .
You for sure did not touch a nerve , I can debate religion all day , or the lack of it , and did not mean to offend you , sorry if
I did .

[Smitty45]

You all can say what you will but this old man is still of the belief that there should not be young teen unmarried mothers in this world. Not old enough or mature enough to raise a child and no 12-14 year old boy--let alone an 18 year old- is old enough or mature enough to take care of a child. But sex is thrown at our young people from the time they start watching tv and I believe that is what has created much of the unrest smongst our youth. The filthy language, the innuendo, the flaunting of the human body is all accepted today as just another fact of life and it has been tolerated for far too long in my humble opinion. Old fashioned? You betcha!

You must not be a history buff , because kids having sex and babies was rampant in the old days , and as recently as the 1960's . My grandmother had her first child at 15 .
I do agree that they shouldn't have babies and 18 is way too young to be a parent , but the way to combat that is by education about sex and making birth control readily available , not passing laws and labeling kids as sex offenders for life .

[KMac]

You don't understand , but there is no creator and I will never stand before him . My life IS about me , me and me alone , and how I treat those around me is solely dictated by my conscience and the laws of man . But the church has influenced the laws of man to the point they are just crazy . Two 15 year olds kids can have sex and it's not a crime , but the day one turns 16 it's crime and that kid is labeled a sex offender for life ? Why is that ok ?
I brought up the church merely to make the point that religion has turned something as innocent as sex into a crime and a sin . Then you jump in with your beliefs saying everyone will stand before your God and be judged , and get offended when I disagree .
You for sure did not touch a nerve , I can debate religion all day , or the lack of it , and did not mean to offend you , sorry if
I did .

I understand completely. I have met many nonbelievers.

I happen to agree about the scenario you presented. But, not sure if the "church" is to blame for that. Laws, these laws, are made by man, not influenced by scripture. 13 year olds married in biblical times.

No, you didn't offend me. Not at all.

[KMac]

You must not be a history buff , because kids having sex and babies was rampant in the old days , and as recently as the 1960's . My grandmother had her first child at 15 .
I do agree that they shouldn't have babies and 18 is way too young to be a parent , but the way to combat that is by education about sex and making birth control readily available , not passing laws and labeling kids as sex offenders for life .

Teaching children about responsible behavior and abstinence is not the same as labelling a child a sex offender.

Again, it's about choices. If we teach our children that sex is a poor choice, until married and ready for a family (potential consequences), they have to choose their path.

Saying there is no "moral compass" and desire is the deciding factor, isn't the right way. But again, that is just my opinion.

And, I hold firm that if something is important to you, you will do what is needed to keep it that way. Whether it's education, careers or family, and yes, sex. It's all about choices.

[erie skipper]

You must not be a history buff , because kids having sex and babies was rampant in the old days , and as recently as the 1960's . My grandmother had her first child at 15 .
I do agree that they shouldn't have babies and 18 is way too young to be a parent , but the way to combat that is by education about sex and making birth control readily available , not passing laws and labeling kids as sex offenders for life .

Rampant in the old days? Hardly rampant but I agree it did happen but it was certainly the exception and not the rule and was not acceptable behavior in the midwest--at least where I'm from. But then I grew up in the 50's and 60's and by the time I was in my teens the so called sexual revolution had just begun. I say again that promiscuity and sexual behavior is rampant online and on the screen and way too readily available to our youth. There needs to be some sense of modesty and moral values brought back into the forefront or I fear we will continue deteriorate as a nation and as a human race. Freedom of speech was not meant in my opinion to allow filthy language and pornography be part of our every day lives and forced upon us by the media. You rarely are able to find a series or movie on neflix, amazon prime or any of the available connections without hearing constant f bombs and naked bodies. Too much is too much.

[SIM]

God the Creator, God of the Bible, the Son, Jesus Christ, their Holy Spirit, the reality is, it’s either true or it’s not true. It can’t be a little of both.

If it’s not true, I am/believers are to be the most pitied. If it is true, that changes everything for literally everyone.

Since I do believe, it is our role, and frankly out of love, that we should tell others about Him. After that the rest of the work is up to that person and God. God gives us all free will and part of that is to believe in him and the one he sent, or not. And like some of the subject matter here, we all have choices that we make.

If you think about it, if you think some thing like this is true, why would you not want to tell somebody about it? Do you hate people that much that you want to keep it a secret? Nobody’s beating anybody over the head about it, we’re just the informers.

I look at the world/universe we live in, and the things that God created, man, animals, all of it, it’s hard to imagine this perfection just happened by chance and evolved into it. In fact, the evidence says otherwise.

[Smitty45]

Rampant in the old days? Hardly rampant but I agree it did happen but it was certainly the exception and not the rule and was not acceptable behavior in the midwest--at least where I'm from. But then I grew up in the 50's and 60's and by the time I was in my teens the so called sexual revolution had just begun. I say again that promiscuity and sexual behavior is rampant online and on the screen and way too readily available to our youth. There needs to be some sense of modesty and moral values brought back into the forefront or I fear we will continue deteriorate as a nation and as a human race. Freedom of speech was not meant in my opinion to allow filthy language and pornography be part of our every day lives and forced upon us by the media. You rarely are able to find a series or movie on neflix, amazon prime or any of the available connections without hearing constant f bombs and naked bodies. Too much is too much.

Again , you seem to not understand history . Families lived in small one room shacks and the parents had sex while the kids were in the room , or in the house at least . Hard to get more exposure to sex than being there while it's happening . Living on the family farm kids got to watch animals having sex regularly , they were exposed to sex at a much younger age than present day kids are .
People like to think the old times were the good old days , thats a myth . Watching two parents having sex or the family cows , it not much different than watching it on the computer . Sex is sex .

[Smitty45]

God the Creator, God of the Bible, the Son, Jesus Christ, their Holy Spirit, the reality is, it’s either true or it’s not true. It can’t be a little of both.

If it’s not true, I am/believers are to be the most pitied. If it is true, that changes everything for literally everyone.

Since I do believe, it is our role, and frankly out of love, that we should tell others about Him. After that the rest of the work is up to that person and God. God gives us all free will and part of that is to believe in him and the one he sent, or not. And like some of the subject matter here, we all have choices that we make.

If you think about it, if you think some thing like this is true, why would you not want to tell somebody about it? Do you hate people that much that you want to keep it a secret? Nobody’s beating anybody over the head about it, we’re just the informers.

I look at the world/universe we live in, and the things that God created, man, animals, all of it, it’s hard to imagine this perfection just happened by chance and evolved into it. In fact, the evidence says otherwise.

Why didn't your God care about the Incan's , or the Mayans , or the Egyptians ? Or the seven civilizations that are believed to have existed and were destroyed ?
What about the other religions ? They feel the same way you do , only they worship Allah , or Buddah , or some other non existent God .
The actual facts support the fact that your God is a myth , but you choose to believe the Bible over hard science .
The big bang is a fact , evolution is a fact , and the history of religion is a fact , it has always been invented by men , to control people and it is profit driven .
Christianity has many similarities to Paganism , the religion it replaced .

[SIM]

I am not hear to argue about what I believe is true, or what you believe is true. You just make blanket statements without fact. It may be what you believe, even though you most likely don't have knowledge in these areas. Have you ever looked deep into whether God of the bible is real, whether the accounts of the bible are true? Have you ever asked him to help you do that? I am guessing not.

My wife has cancer. And its serious. My daughters good friend last week just lost there baby shortly after it was born. What you are saying with your comments is that God causes these things to happen. That He picks and chooses who He helps, and who He curses. We all ask why these things happen, and I don't have an answer to that, other than we live in a imperfect sin-filled world. What I do know even though these things happen, it doesn't change who God is. God is the definition of love. God loves my wife, he loves that baby that died, and I know for a fact that he loves you. And everyone that reads this. But what else is true is that love is a two way street. How can we love something if we don't have the free will to choose to love back? God did not create us as robots. We have the choice to follow or reject Him. To love Him or hate him.

I am not going to go back and forth whether the bible is true or not(unless you want to go there but it will take some reading and time on your part). With man and God, its always been a heart issue, not a head issue.